The Dawn of Awareness

This is a letter that I wrote to my niece.  She had just started to meditate and asked for some tips:

Meditation has the power to transform your life in a way that is unimaginably magical.  This I know from direct experience.  God has no religion anymore than the wind or sun does.  However, the love that pervades this universe is knowable…in fact…it is who we are.  Even for the atheist, research has shown that the transformative powers of meditation are indisputable. From pain management to the regulation of emotions, meditation works. Regardless if you are looking for a little peace and stress relief or if you are searching to discover the magnificent and powerful energy that dwells within you, meditation is a benevolent and beneficial practice that heals and strengthens.

Meditation is a practice to enjoy.  Whether playing golf or the violin, anything that requires skill is not as fun in the beginning.  Meditation is no different.  However, if you are fortunate enough to really commit to the practice, over time it will yield great fruit.  People sometimes ask me, “Why do you meditate?” And I say, “For the same reason a surfer surfs or a singer sings…the bliss is incomparable.  I meditate because I love to meditate.”  However, this was not true in the beginning…it took some work and commitment to really enjoy the practice.

Here are some practical pointers:

• Find a time and a place when you won’t be disturbed.  I have to meditate before the family is awake or after they are in bed.  The best time to meditate is between 3 and 6 am because much of the world is quiet.

• Trust yourself and start off at a pace that fits your life.  Some people start off with five minutes of meditation and gradually work up to longer periods.  Consistency is the key.  If you can meditate consistently, even for short periods, you will begin to experience change.  If you can work up to an hour a day, people will begin asking you, “What are you into?” and you will begin to experience the world in a new way.

• Find a comfortable posture: You may want to sit in a chair with your feet flat or crossed-legged on the floor.  The key is that your spine is elongated and that you are comfortable.

• Set an alarm:  In the beginning, find an alarm with a very pleasant sound like a chime.  Commit to sitting for a certain time…say five or ten minutes at first and set your alarm.   Eventually you may not want to use the alarm, but it can be helpful in the beginning.

• If you’re meditating with young children, just tell them, “We are going to practice being Still, Quite, Relaxed, and having a Good Posture for, say, three minutes.”

• First, check in with your breath and body:  When you first sit down, release the tension in your breath.  Take a few deep breaths and let go of any tension in your body…go through your entire body and let go…from your feet to the muscles in your face…release the tension. Your body and your breath are your gauges.

• The natural breath: Once you settle into a comfortable posture, become aware of your breath.  Check and see if your breath is relaxed.  This is important because we hold tension in our breath.  From the time of your birth when you breathed your first breath, your breath has risen and fallen.  It comes in…then goes out.  The breath doesn’t need any help to do this…it does it on its own.  Simply becoming aware of this process will guide you to the breath that is right for your mediation.  You may want to start with a few deep inhalations and long exhalations.  Then let your breath take its natural rhythm.

• The mind and emotions: The mind is going to have wonderful thoughts, mundane thoughts, and terrible thoughts.  Initially, the mind is going to have thoughts that may make you want to get up and thoughts that may make you cringe.  One of the great blessings of meditation is learning what is called “detachment from the mind”.  You are not your thoughts or emotions…you are the one witnessing the thoughts and emotions.  Whatever thoughts come up in your mind…good, bad, or indifferent…let them go.  In the same way that you watch a cloud in the sky without any attachment…let your thoughts come and go without getting involved with them.  Tell your mind, “You can think whatever you want, but I’m not really getting involved with you now…I’m relaxing my breath and meditating.”  Slowly, as your meditation deepens, the mind will no longer bother you…in fact it will become your friend.  This may take a little time.  Do not try and stop your mind from thinking!  Let the mind settle in its own time…great love and beauty exists within regardless of whether the mind is thinking or not.

• Sound or vibrations: If you really think about the mind, it is a bunch of syllables, sounds, or energy in your head.  You can actually use this energy as an aid to meditation.  Sound is everywhere…we hear a dog barking, we hear the thoughts in our head, and we can even hear the sound of our own breath.  Yes, if we could get quiet enough, we could hear our own breath coming in and out.  I suggest that, in meditation, you find some simple and benevolent syllables to silently link with your breath. If you want to give your mind something to do, link it with the breath by using vowel sounds like “A” and “O” so on the inhalation “Ah…” and on the exhalation “Oh…” or vise versa. You can pick any sound you like, but the simple vowels of A and O are powerful.  There are phrases from many traditions used in meditation: A-men “Truly”, Mara-natha “Our Lord, come!”, Om “The sound of silence – the primordial sound”, Sohum or Sohaam “The sound of the breath”, and many others.  Find a vowel, word, or simple phrase to silently link with the incoming and outgoing breath.  Again, “Ah……” on the in breath and “Oh…..” on the exhalation.  This practice can be used as a tool to bring you back to “letting go” and back to your breath.  This practice is very helpful.  Use it if it works for you.

Meditation is the practice of prayer and surrender…this is prayer without asking for anything…meditation is the experience of silence and stillness. Meditation is the pure experience of divine love…true communion.  For the atheist you can say it is the deep experience of wholeness or pure love.  Regardless of your belief, meditation benefits not only the practitioner, but everyone in their sphere as well.  Enjoy meditation as you would enjoy any of your daily activities.

Humans want answers.  We have some very big questions to ask and some very rough terrain to navigate: What gives meaning to life?  What will happen to me when I take my last breath?  Why do terrible things sometimes happen to innocent people? Does this universe that surrounds us and is within us respond to our thoughts and feelings?

People answer these questions in their own ways, and often don’t answer them honestly.  Why is it that people don’t answer these very important questions honestly? The reason is that most of us are not born into environments that allow us to answer these questions honestly and most people look for a answers that fit their society and surroundings rather than answer these questions with the self-inquiry that they demand. Usually, we are told what the answers to the big questions in life are by people who themselves still hold beliefs that are not mature and we are not given much room for variation on these beliefs.

The atheists say, “There is no God”.   The religious zealot says, “There is a God.  Let me tell you about him.”  Both these thinkers believe they “know” the “Truth”.  The position of “knowing” is often a weak position.  When a person acknowledges that they don’t “know” it is often a sign of spiritual wisdom and strength.

A friend of mine is very active in, what I believe is, a very uplifting spiritual organization.  I like the beliefs of this organization.  However, even in this organization with a very healthy philosophy there is a culture that doesn’t allow for the “I don’t really know if I believe this doctrine” thinking.  This is a problem because whenever there is a culture that doesn’t allow questioning, it limits direct experience.  Being locked into any belief system will ultimately limit us because the infinite cannot be captured in a doctrine.

A belief system is like a container and no container can hold this beautiful and mysterious reality that we all share.  However, these containers, or belief systems, are excellent tools for teaching and helping us make our dreams come true.  What has happened over thousands of years is that our beliefs have taken on lives of their own and we now are serving our beliefs instead of our beliefs leading us to happiness.

This reminds me of a discussion I once had with a missionary.  He said, “Belief systems are like guardrails…they keep us from driving over a cliff.”  To which I said, “Guardrails usually protect the reckless.  Good drivers don’t often need them.”  But the missionary had a good point: There are many people who, without a religion or a very structured group, would be alcoholics, or bullies, or even worse.  In many ways a limited belief can help a person to live a wonderful life.  It is important to remember that we are all limited by the confines of our beliefs.

Ask yourself “Is my view of the world helping me to lead an integrated and healthy life?”  Our beliefs should not be like an overbearing boss that is running our lives.  The control exercised by belief comes from many directions including our family, friends, society, and most strongly, our own minds.  We are always being told what to believe and what not to believe.  Courage is the ability to believe the quiet whisper in your heart above what the world is telling you.  That little voice inside usually doesn’t lie and is our true friend.

This brings us to the subject of “God”.  The atheist says, “I know there is no God no matter how you define it, him, or her.”  The religious zealot is equally locked into a belief system saying “I know God AND let me tell you who and how he is.”  The religious zealot is often trying to fit a square peg into a round hole and looking for someone to share his or her wrong understanding.  This is a way of helping to sooth the zealots underlying knowing that their belief is a house of cards.  This is why all large religions create tightly controlled cloistered communities.  It’s truly wonderful to be in a community of people who share the same belief. The bigger the church, temple, or political party, the more people and money it has, the more main stream the belief is, the safer the adherents feel.  The converse is true as well: If a group feels the house of cards is being threatened, watch out!

Now let me be clear, I’m not saying that there is no Truth and that we can’t know anything.  There are some things we do know, and some people know more than others.  That’s obvious.  If one person believes that Adam & Eve and Noah’s ark really happened and another believes that this is a nice mythology, is this something that is really worth spending our most valuable commodity, time, debating?

What is more important is what is true NOW, TODAY…THIS MOMENT.  What matters is how I treat my wife and children and how they treat me.  What matters is the love in our life today.  Ask yourself, “What do you believe is important NOW, TODAY?”  Does your environment, your family, friends, and partner right now allow you to choose what you believe or are you being told what to believe?  Do you have a choice right now?  Is what you believe based on your experience of what is true or are you trying to fit your experience into the belief system you have inherited?  Do you have the freedom to question your beliefs today or would that be too disruptive to your life?  Do you have the courage to question your beliefs in the privacy of your heart, or are the ghosts of society, religious leaders, and your family haunting you?

The “Truth” is something that never changes and is new in every moment.  That is the great mystery. “Truth” is both universal and very personal and cannot be wrapped in a package or written in any book.  Life is about discovering Truth in the privacy of your own heart with the understanding that this discovery is intimate and personal.  No one in this world can tell you how the breeze feels on your face, but the beauty of the moment is true.

It would be nice to live in a world that is not littered with archaic ideas and zealots who want to control the lives of others.  We live in a universe that is governed by laws both physical and spiritual, and our actions do have consequences: Knowing this from direct experience will shape an individual into one who lives in harmony with others.  By offering our own honest exploration, an exploration that takes place in the privacy of our own heart, we give to others an authenticity that allows for a genuine connection…real love.  Meaningful answers to the tough questions in life demands courage and honesty on a core level.  The harvest of this inquiry is unparalleled and cannot be spoken to another.

Love is the medicine.  Now is the time.  Be good to others. And sing with your true feeling.  This moment is a supreme miracle.